Yesterday wasn't too bad. I realize much of this comes down to choices I make. Some of those choices are extremely scary and painful, but only until I adjust. The rewards are substantial. This journey must be taken one step at a time, as much as I would like to jump to the finish line and be done with it or refuse to acknowledge that this is a path I may be on for a lifetime - to one degree or another. Acceptance is crucial, I think, not of allowing ocd to ravage my life but of myself as someone who has ocd. Yes, I still struggle with that.
I had been thinking of you, saw you hadn't posted in awhile and was hoping you were doing ok so I was happy to see your post from yesterday and today. It is pretty cool how we get to caring about people we have never met..this struggle of ours with OCD has a way of binding us, I so relate to what you go through. I'm proud of your advances and victories and totally understand when you feel defeated and like crap. Just keep fighting and never give up..I know it is difficult, I need people to tell me that sometimes too. You were missed.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard for me not to want to leap to the finish line, too, and it's sometimes hard to accept that we'll have to deal in some fashion with OCD the rest of our lives.
ReplyDeleteI left a comment on your previous post, but I guess it didn't go through. Please don't get too low before trying to talk with your doctor about what you're going through.